Beltane

Out of the entire Wheel of the Year, Beltane is my favorite holiday. Followed by Samhain, but Beltane is always first. Like spring, the moment that hangs between the worlds, that moment when childhood is over but maturity did not arrive yet, fills me with wonder.

Last year, at Beltane, as I tied the knot of wishes I wished for freedom and love. I learned to be free, to say yes or no according to my soul's needs. And i learned the most important loves of all: towards myself.

And yet, as Beltane approaches, in between the plans to celebrate the holiday, there is always coming back to the girl I used to be, before I get lost again in the mother that I am. Such a short time between girl and woman! Time flies too fast, but at Beltane, for a moment, I can be the girl, the child, the virgin again. I can hold the innocence for that one second before it is lost.

This year, the innocence will be celebrated in mocking around with my girls, in remembering how it is to be a child. The laughter, the lack of worry, the joy. As it is Halloween as well, the fun of it, in between dancing around the May Pole (which I still need to make), in between jumping over the fire for fertility and blessing (I still need to work out the logistics, as we live in a unit) will be going with the kids for treat or trick. Dressed as witches.

Instead of a group celebration, Beltane this year will be spent with the people that matter to me. My children, my friends, my lover.

And my next post will be the classical story of Beltane and the Wheel of the Year.

Spring

I love spring. The promise of a new summer, the promise of life. For me spring is like a song that slowly creeps into my heart, bringing with it the joy and the awareness that it is there. It makes me think of childhood and innocence, some of which I lost on the long and twisting roads of life. And yet, as the trees are starting to sparkle in new green, as the flowers are riot all around me, as the sun promises another hot summer, for brief moments, I forget the responsibilities of being an adult and I remember to just be a child.

I love spring the most in Europe, where the changes are fast and easily felt. Here, in the country of Oz, the seasons don't have clear cut lines and one flows into the other almost without notice.

But now, in the middle of spring, it feels like I can touch the spirit of the plants. The innocence is ripe, hanging for a short moment before getting lost in the maturity of summer. The days have been growing, steadily, the nights became shorter and with them I can just hang in that moment between the world, remembering and being.

Because it is so much easier to see the laughter of the child growing towards womanhood, and so much easier to see the dreams for what summer would be.It is that moment of hanging in mid air, of not knowing but feeling it deep within your soul.