Monday, 29 August 2011

Parenting LOL

I was thinking that all want to be parents need to be warned that nerves of steel, patience of a saint, awareness of a Buddhist and self control of a yogi, are absolute necessities. Or, at a bare minimum, the creativity of a witch and the tricks of a magician.

If someone would have explained that to me, I would have thought twice before having children. I'm not saying that I regret having my children. Mine are two wonderful brats that I love with all my heart and thank to for the number of white hairs that adorn my head. But, before having them, I woud have first learned the above mentioned skills. Why? Because are needed.

Now... To give an example. We were driving to the school, or the driving was done by me, and the kids were more or less settled on the back seats. Seat belts on, my youngest daughter in one of those insanely expensive safety seats... For once, the car was quiet. No one was talking, everyone followed their own thoughts. i should have known that trouble was brewing. After nearly 9 year of parenting, I should have known. However, misled by a morning of peace where only love and nice words were exchanged in my house, I let myself be carried by the illusion that from now on, my kids learned how to get along.  As soon as my brain formulated the thought, I hear:
"Give my pen back. I'm going to kill you!"
"It'  myyyyyy peeen! I gave you mine!!"
Now, when my girls fight, the voices are so loud they could wake up the dead out of their graves. And sharp. I feel my inner ear vibrating in pain. Like that was not enough, soon enough fists start flying. I don't have nerves of steel. Actually my fuse is quite short. I'm totally lacking patience as well. Occasionally I have some self control and as I so nicely found out, I'm not always aware. Therefore, my first instinct was to do what I always do in these situations. Turn around, grab their hands and make then hug. But I could not do that as it would have caused an accident. So, quickly, I wondered what is one thing that my kids can't resist to. Music. They love music and singing along out of tune. So, I quickly put the radio on, and like dolls my kids start singing which is keeping their mouths busy and can't insult each other. Bingo. Ok, in order to achieve that, the music needs to be blasting, but that is a million times better then screaming from the top of their lungs.

So... Self control of a yogi... Did I mention that parenting is painful equally as much as it is a bliss, if not more? If not, it is done now. Parenting is painful. It starts with the labor contractions and never ends. Done wrongly, so is yoga. Given that I do that couple of times a week, I know. The only way to go through pain in yoga is by breathing deeply. Very deeply and very slowly. If you remember that, all is good and relaxing. However, I think that as a parent I need to breathe deeply, slowly, in and out, most moments of the day. Like when I find tiny bits of toilet paper all over the house, thanks to one of my kids' games. Or when I try to enter their bedroom and is impossible because piles and piles of clothes are all over the floor. The reason for that is either a fashion game or a moment of "I can't find my clothes". The worst was when my oldest daughter tried sewing  and forgot to pick up the needles of the carpet. I did. With my bare foot. I can give plenty of examples, one more ridiculous then other. The only way to deal with it without losing my minds, is by breathing. Deeply and slowly.

Patience of a saint... That I was sure I totally lacked, and I still have doubts if it is there or not. Why do you need patience? Because, as a parent, you find yourself repeating the same things day after day. I thought about recording myself and just playing the tape in order to save my voice. It would be awesome if I could explain one thing to my kids only once. And yet, dinner after dinner, 7 times a week, they need explaining and demonstrating how to use the knife, and why. Or homework. Or picking up after themselves. Or why does it rain? Or why can't we eat chocolate all day long. Or why they need to get into bed at a certain hour. Most of these, need in depth explanations at least few times a week, every week, year after year. One needs plenty of patience not to scream and run away.

Nerves of steel... I find that it is very hard to see my children hitting each other without feeling the need to go in and hit both of them, for good measure. Or to deal with my nearly nine year old telling me she is in love and tried to shave her legs. Or to do any of the above without jumping through the roof. Therefore, I need good nerves.

Or perfect self control. Given that I am totally against hitting kids... I do need to control myself so the back of my hand does not fly on it's on...

The awareness is an absolute must because one never knows what their kids are up to. For example, few years back, I bought some CDs and tapes  from my country. Now, I hardly ever visit my country anymore and what I buy from there is precious. As I was doing some work, at the time film producing, my daughter got stuck into my tapes. She tried to make me a surprise by unwinding every single one of them and making pretty knots. As you can imagine, it was a surprise that was very hard to appreciate. However, if I would have been aware of what my daughter was up to, it would have been easily avoided.

The creativity of a witch. Or an artist. Which ever one you prefer. That is for the necessity of figuring up very fast how can you push your kids in a different direction. Like when one of my daughters got stuck into my nail polish collection, and a collection it is, and decided to try and paint with it on the door. For damage control I had to figure really fast another activity that would have been more appealing for my artist of a kid. That is creativity used to the max. Hardly any is left for my job.

Pulling rabbits out of the hat... I don't wear hats and have no particular talent in pulling rabbits out of anywhere. However, it is useful to be able to achieve the impossible when one has kids. For example, in order to settle them down. The music in the morning, or any as such, are good examples. Useful... Often a necessity... But there is one more instance in which one needs to know how to pull rabbits... or anything else... For example, sometimes, as my income is dependent on finding clients, if I don't find enough of them, I'm short with money. I think that most of us can relate to that. And that day, when the budget is very tight, the beauty of the child, decides that will die instantly if they don't have a specific type of chocolate... or anything else... Ipods, laptops ad so on... Now, chocolate I can pull out of my hat offering to make some at home. The only solution to fix the other ones is either to say NO, which in my experience ends with screaming, crying, banged doors and "you destroy my life", or to find a way to satisfying that need. Most times, I say no and ignore the tantrum, even if I need to stick my headphones in my ears and put music on in order to not hear it. But are other times, when I either have to be creative in my explanations are promises, or pull the rabbit out. Usually that means borrowing my things to my kids for a period of time...

I just wish there was a book to explain all the above to me before I had children. I would have been so grateful! I would have had a career first, traveled the world, spent months in a yoga retreat, took  whole bunch of seminars so I don't have to learn on the go, and then I would have had kids... And just maybe, I would have avoided half the situations I'm confronted with in this wonderful and non stop job of being a parent. LOL

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Who am I and who am I not

I am a very determined, mostly stubborn, highly cultured woman that loves herself. It happens that I am a woman that loves others as well. Not only other people, but other things. Like books, many books, sunsets, rock, crystals, plants, my planet. For my planet I do what I can. I pick up my rubbish and occasionally other people’s rubbish, I recycle, I use green energy… Not nearly enough, but it is what I can do right now.

I am a mother. a single mother of two girls and as such I go through all the joy and desperation of parenting. I love my children. I respect my children. I would jump in fire for them without a second thought. But while they came of me, they don’t belong to me, but to themselves…

I am a daughter and a sister… In that area I don’t do much other then existing. If  I could, I would do fancy dinners at home, coffees and lots of chats. Probably I would also help where possible. As it happens, I live on the other side of the planet from my parents and siblings so I don’t do much.
Occasionally, when the mood strikes me, I am a lover. Not very often but as I don’t have enough time to dedicate to relationships, since I have so many other interests that keep my busy. I am independent, highly capable of looking after myself therefore I am not needy for relationships. I only do it for pleasure.

I am a friend. I can only hope that a good one, but that remains for my friends to decide.

Sometimes, as my children so carefully and half embarrassed point out, I am weird. I think that in a broad sense that means that I don’t conform to the norms.  I dance barefoot in the worst rains, I wear summer dresses in winter if the mood strikes, I wear hand painted hippy clothes one day, business clothes the next and maybe next to noting another day… I’m allergic to my own hair, I cry if I break a nail, I laugh when I’m sad and cry when I’m happy, I state my opinions regardless if everyone else thinks differently. Also, I am totally able to do crazy things that make no sense to anyone but me.

I am a witch… By that I don’t mean that my wardrobe is only composed of black clothes that belonged few centuries back or that my favorite way of spending my time is burning in fire, even though I do love a good open fire next to which I can relax. However, my element is Earth and as such I could spend a life time gazing at the mountains. By being a witch I mean that I think that with the power of my thoughts I can change my reality. I also mean that sometimes I weave a spell, other times I meditate, always respect All life, including the one I eat and occasionally heal others. For me, it means as well, that all gods are equally as good, even though I relate to Goddesses more.

I am a photographer. By that I mean that I love taking photographs even when I am paid to do it. Also, I create clothes. I make them, paint them… Both are ways of expressing myself that have the added benefit on sometimes being paid for it.

I am not greedy. I totally understand the value of money and utterly enjoy spending them, but I don’t see them as important in the big scheme of things.

I am addicted to coffee. I could drink up to ten coffees a day and then have a perfectly peaceful sleep.

I am a dreamer. I dream of  world in which no one will die of starvation, wars, or religion and our children will have an unpolluted planet to live on.

What am I not? I’m not a follower. I make my own decisions and trends.

I am not patient person, especially with ignorance. If I can read and expand my horizons, everyone can do it. No excuses accepted. If one is ignorant, with me are only two options: either inform oneself or shut up. Black and white. I don’t have an issue with anyone that say’s I don’t know. I only have an issue with not knowing and still talking about the subject. For example, I have no idea about physics. Not only that I have no idea, but I have no interest in it whatsoever. So if I am in a group that talks physics, I listen, but I don’t express opinions as I don’t know enough to have an opinion.

I am not intolerant. By that I mean that there are things I am highly intolerant of, like child abuse and domestic violence, and very tolerant with other things, like other people’s religions as long as they don’t try to convert me.

I am not stupid. As a matter of fact I have a very high IQ and I do my best to use more then 10% of my brain. While I do understand that not everyone has a high IQ, I don’t understand why other people refuse to use more then 10% of their brain, such as it is.

I am not a man. That means that I am a woman and hence I think and I feel like one.

And I care nothing about what other people think of me. I love and respect myself too much to allow other people opinions about me to drag me down.

I am not humble. More so, I see no point in being one. However, while I am arrogant, I am smart enough to listen to other people and be able to change my opinions if there are good enough reasons to do so.

Because I have no need for people to like me, I tend to be mostly honest.

Arrogance ramblings

In the last couple of days I have been told countless times that I am arrogant. What is arrogance? And does it have any uses at all?

The dictionary says “arrogance – overbearing pride evidenced by a superior manner toward inferiors”. I must admit that I was feeling a bit stuck and that is a feeling that I don’t like in particular. I have a need to know that goes way beyond intellectual curiosity. For me, this need to know everything, most importantly myself goes beyond hunger… Is an elemental need. I don’t say it should be the same for everyone. I just say that that’s how it is for me. Not liking this feeling of being stuck without an answer, I went into the search for an answer. Am I arrogant? And what exactly is perceived as arrogance? Does it have any uses?  I’m good at research. I’m very good at it. But what I am even better at is finding answers within myself, so I went on the journey of finding it as I know best. I meditated. I sat down in a quiet place, at an hour when everything was still within and without. Lit a candle, for whatever reason I find it easier to focus with a candle. And I took many calming breaths. More so as I knew that whatever answers I find, chances are that I will be affected by them one way or another.

What did i find? Oh well, to begin with, i do have a very healthy dose of arrogance. Yes, i do feel superior to others. Does not sound pleasant, but that’s who i am. Why do i have this feeling of superiority? Oh well, because i am proud of myself. Very proud of myself. I even give myself pats on the back for the things i achieved that matter to me. Why do i feel so proud of myself? Because i worked damn hard for everything i have, from possessions to culture and education. Because nothing came on a platter as much as i would have liked, and in order to be who i am, i have made sacrifices… The one i sacrificed the most was my ego.

That sounds like a contradiction, isn’t it? How could have i sacrificed my ego but still be arrogant? To begin with, i had to accept that i know nothing. Again, something that i don’t really like doing. My ego tells me that i know everything and some. But in order to reach a point of being proud of myself, i had to accept that no matter how much i try, there will be countless things i will know nothing about, For example quantum physics. Oh well, my ego tells me that if i really try, i can come up with couple of sentences to describe this type of physics. By sheer chance, those sentences might be even accurate. But the reality is that i have no idea about physics. And not only the quantum one. My brain had no interest in it, therefore i am totally uneducated in that area. Stings. A lot. I pride myself through my culture. But i know nothing. So, i can either go and research it to the point where i have an understanding of it, or i can just leave it at i don’t know. Me, being me, most likely i will go and research it in depth, until i know some. And that requests that i put a lot of effort and time into it. For me, that time and effort are well used. If i go past the ego that tells me i know everything, i can actually admit that i know nothing and do something constructive about knowing it. And because i have to put so much effort into that and sacrificed not only my ego, but my pleasures as well, i am proud of myself. I gave up an hour of gossiping with friends for one hour of making a little bit more light into the dark cavern that is my brain. And for that, i am very proud of myself. Even more so when i can look myself in the eyes and tell myself :”Alex, the more you know, the less you know. and you know nothing while you know everything”. That asks for courage.

Why is accepting courage? Because i don’t like accepting something that tells me that i am not as good as i want to be. I mean, i want to think of myself as smart, cultured, well educated, wise. I don’t like to say that i know nothing because first of all it denies all the things i worked so hard to know. But first of all saying that i know nothing, accepting this terrible blow to my ego, leaves me room for improvement. So the one hour i give up, becomes two.

And this brings me to my favorite parts about arrogance. I am proud of myself because i make the effort and because i worked hard to improve myself and because i know a whole lot of teensy-winsy things about a whole bunch of things. Now, arrogance comes into it when i put all the effort, make all the sacrifices in order to know (in my case) and others not only that refuse to put the effort into it, but expect everything nicely delivered in their lap. And i am arrogant because i do openly admit that i am better then them. I am not perfect and are other people that know much more then i do, about much more things. But i make an effort and i simply don’t get it why others refuse to make it.

The opposite of arrogance s humbleness which is defined as “humbleness – the state of being humble and unimportant”.  I have a very healthy dose of humbleness as well. It goes hand in hand with arrogance at me, like the other side of the coin. I want to be feel superior and I’m certainly happy with being proud of myself. But if i want to stay as such (proud, superior), i need to admit to myself that i have a lot of space for improvement. That admission is my humbleness. What i don’t see any point in doing, though, is to say that i am dumb when i know for a fact that i am not. Or to say that i am ugly when i am not. For me, that is not being humble. For me, that is committing a crime against myself by not respecting myself.

Why do we need to respect ourselves? Let see. An example that came into my head while i was meditating, that combined self respect with arrogance and humbleness was the following.
Over the millenniums of our civilasation, people, scientists of a kind or another, made discoveries. Lets take for example, the wheel. Someone, very wise, obserrved that if you take a round stone and push it on the ground it moves smoothly and with quite a bit of speed. He, or she, took that information and created the first stone wheel. What that did was to create wonders for agriculture. Some year later, another person thought that that wheel could be improved. That was arrogance because the person would have thought of himself as being more smart then the others. If that person had a humbelness complex, would have thought that he/she is not important enough to tell other people how to make changes. On the other hand, if that person had enough sef respect to admit that he/she is important and smart enough, would have gone and told his fellow tribesmen that he can make a better wheel. The head of the trbe would have looked at this person and thought that is insanity. But with the self respect, that person started to work hard to create this new way of having a better wheel. After a while, he ended up with a much better wheel. He could be very proud of both the result and the effort. And he or she, was superior to his fellow men because he invented something. Therefore, that person was arrogant. 

Whitout enough arrogance of thinking that a difference can be made, we would still have a stone wheel. And so on. we ca take everything and recognize the same blue print for it.
Why would i choose to put myself down by being practicing humbleness when i can make a difference into my own life by being arrogant? Why should i not respect the effort i put into everything? What benefit would that have for me or for the society i live in? Nix. Nada. Nothing. Putting myself down will achieve only into being another unhappy person, and there are plenty of those. There is no need for me to add one more to that group. And chances are that because i put myself down by practicing a fake humbleness that tells me i am not important enough, i will not even start doing something. I will condemn myself to a life where nothing will ever be achieved or improved. That is unhealthy for me and all the ones around me. On the other hand, if i practice the real humbleness – i am good, i am nearly perfect and i can always improve- i will feel nothing but encouraged to start putting the effort into something. Putting that effort into something, will result in me being proud of myself, putting even more effort into it and ending up being superior, which is a good place to be. And that i arrogance. And it is healthy. Yeap, there are others more superior then me, but that will not stop me. Why should i build a two levels building if i can build a hundred levels building?

Anyway, this are the ramblings of my brain during meditation. 

So yeah, i am humble enough to admit that i can be better, and arrogant enough to know that if i put the effort into it, i am better.

Phoenix Bird

A bird. The most beautiful of birds that has an incredible long life and at the end, builds a nest, puts it on fire and becomes ashes. From ashes it comes back anew, younger, starting the circle again.

I have read the myth when I was still a child, probably no more then 10. I have been, and still am, passionate, or obsessive about the mythology of the world. Anyway, the Phoenix Bird myth caught my imagination and over the years remained one of those myths that play into my head trying to find a meaning. I understand now, that regardless how beautiful is for a child to read it, it is a myth for adults.

It does not matter if the Fire Bird existed or not. I think that it is quite irrelevant. The reality or lack of it of the Bird, does not change the wisdom of the Myth.

Sometimes I imagine a really old wise person. It is irrelevant if it was a wise woman or a wise man. This really wise person, after had passed through the years and journeys of life with eyes wide open, notices that people in general, put themselves in fire, without seeming to have a meaning, a purpose.
Why do we chose to enter situations that come close to destroying us? Because we did not know? Looking back and after talking to people that looked back, one thing is clear. One way or another, for some reason or other, we all knew on some elemental level, that the situation not only that is not as rose as we have tried to see it, but is actually quite dangerous. One thing that always comes out goes along the lines of I knew it, but did not want to see it. Why? Why do we know the danger and still step blindly into it?

The only reason I can think of, is that we need, we are compelled to do it in order to regenerate ourself.  Like the bird that puts itself on fire, we put our lives in fire with the hope that something radical will change. Why? Because we, humans, don’t seem to learn through happiness. No matter how may times our parents tell us that the fire is hot, we seem to get it only after we burn our little fingers by touching it. We need the pain of the situation in order to learn it’s lesson. Why? Because it in our nature. Learning, understanding, thinking and emotions are what defines us as being humans.  And we lack the wisdom to learn from other people mistakes.

I have read somewhere, can’t remember where as I am obsessed with reading, that A wise man learns from watching others, an intelligent man learns by doing and a dumb man never learns. Now, few of us actually have wisdom, me included. Some of us, never learn, for varied reasons. Most of us, manage to learn sooner or later by repeating the same mistakes. For the purpose of figuring on the myth, I will focus on the most.

We need to learn. As humans, our need to learn goes beyond will, into the territory of the unknown. Let’s be honest. We don’t like learning. We don’t like to go to school, but we do it because someone, parents, law, society pushes us. We don’t like to listen to our parents because we think they know nothing and we know all. We don’t learn new skills unless the old ones proved to not help. We don’t learn to cook unless we are hungry. And so on. We don’t learn, or most of us don’t, because learning is a pleasure. We learn because we have to learn, because we are forced, goaded or slapped into it.
Same goes with life lessons. I honestly doubt that any off us like going through unpleasant situations, much less painful ones. We don’t like pain, of any kind. But going through pain is the only way to learn, regardless if it is the pain of spending six hours in a classroom on a really sunny day when we could be playing on the beach, cooking a new meal and burning it therefore going without dinner (or having to spend money for take away) or getting into messy life situations because our unconscious mind pushes us to learn one more lesson. We only learn because we are pushed into it.
Because I said that the Phoenix Bird myth is mainly for adults, I shall leave classrooms behind in thought as I have done in age. And I will focus on the situations we get ourselves into once that we are old enough to think we have a choice. But do we really have a choice?

According to my spiritual believes, I have chosen for myself what lessons to learn in this life. It has the advantage of putting all the responsibility onto my own shoulders and as much as I like whining, it is a good thing to blame myself, not others. However, not all share my believes so i shall leave that train of thought behind. Most believe in a god that takes care of us and it is nothing wrong with that. But if we choose to see god as a parent, we have to remember that our parents request of us many things. Manners for one. Or we can only hope that mum and dad are trying to teach us manners, as it is an important skill in life. Now, if not manners, it could be something as simple as picking up the spoon and feeding ourselves. I’m quite sure that our parents are not too happy when first give us the spoon and the food flies all over the kitchen. Not happy because they will have to clean up the mess. God, if we believe in one, puts the spoon into our hand and tells us to feed ourselves. Or to learn a lesson he deems necessary. Leaving the age with the spoon, the lessons get harder. and more and more unpleasant. Here I go back into we have to learn. There is not a choice, it is a fact. Because I am so big onto personal responsibility I chose to think that I have mapped out the lessons for myself. But if I would chose to believe in god as a parent, it would be irrelevant because no matter who decides I need to learn, I still have to do it.

And once that we established that we have to learn, regardless what we believe in, we have to figure out why. For me, the necessity of learning is because I want to spiritually grow in order to become Nirvana, the god like force. But for others, it can be in order to go to heaven. same story, different words. Now, that heaven or nirvana, can not accept us unless we are as pure as It is. Of course, it is a different theory for atheists, but not really that different once you get passed dogmas.  Simply put, we need to learn in order to grow up and stop being helpless infants.

The Phoenix Bird, lives and lives and then needs to put herself in fire in order to regenerate.
As humans, we choose a different fire with the hope that we will grow up. That fire is the life lessons I nagged before. So, regardless of the believes we enter these fires of knowledge willingly or not. The more grown up we are, the harder the fires are. Simple logic. I’m bigger, I need bigger clothes and more food in order to function. Same with the lessons. The more advanced we are, the harder the lesson.

What is the purpose of these lessons other then getting into heaven? I think, part of it is the fact that we are meant to try and teach others as the old wise person tried to teach of by relating the myth. I’m not saying that we all need to become writers. But we all need to become more compassionate, more loving, more wise. In order to achieve that, we step into the fire. And after we went into it, and we understood it’s lesson, we are starting the circle again, exactly like the Phoenix Bird. A new understanding, more evolved let’s say, gives us joy. That’s after we got out of the fire with the treasure of knowledge.  Simple joy is the attribute of the very young that can laugh with tears at a leaf falling out of the tree and making twirls in the air. The purpose of the fire is to show as the joy that can be found in simple things. That makes us “young” again. But in order we keep that ability to be young (we people have a habit of wanting to be older and better then we are today), we need new lessons and so we start inviting them into our lives. Phoenix Bird.

So, at the end, I think that the wise person from the beginning, the one that stepped through life with eyes wide open, was indeed very wise and served us a lesson. We can not have joy without pain. The two faces of the coin. We can not enjoy only one. A coin needs two faces, because everything in our world has at least two sides. Actually because we live in a 3D world, it has more then two. But in order to simplify, we need pain to know joy. We need lessons to grow up.

I love the Phoenix Bird myth. And I welcome being the bird itself.

What is a Witch?

The definition of a witch is one of the things that piss me of right now.

In the dictionary, the definition is:
witch: noun
1.a person, now especially a woman, who professes or is supposed to practice magic, especially black magic or the black art; sorceress. ugly or mean old woman; hag: the old witch who used to own this building.
3.a person who uses a divining rod; dowser.
I won’t go on about the third, but I am going to have a massive rant about the first two.
I have a massive issue with witches being women. To correct the dictionary, I insist to inform that there are equally as many men witches and they go by the same name. It is ridiculous in this time and age to be that ignorant.
More ignorance is clearly shown in the part where it says that witches practice black magick. Just a curiosity, how would we call someone that practices white magick? Or is all magick just black? To answer, neither. Magick, like nature, is neither white nor black. The same shining sun that warms my skin and makes flowers bloom, in a different part of the world causes famine because it is too hot. Rain is useful, wished for, a blessing, but it can cause floods. Nature is neither good, not bad, nor white nor black. It just IS. Same with magick. To think that is either one or the other is at the best being uneducated about the subject. I can use magick to bless as much as to curse. Now, because I am a Wiccan and I believe in karma and the three fold law, I would carefully stir away from curses. Not because I am a good girl or because I don’t think that some people utterly deserve it. There are plenty of people that deserve it, and my personal list contains few names. So, no, the reason I don’t curse is not because I am naive or good in heart. Nah… The reason for why I don’t curse is because I love myself too much and I quite like my life as it is so there is no incentive for me to mess it up by getting all that nastiness three times back (Others might have different reasons, but I’m quite the selfish type)… 
Curses… Is a subject I could go on and on and on. What is a curse? At it’s most basic is wishing evil upon something… Do you know how many people I hear daily saying stuff like “Damn this weather”, “damn my stupid car/computer/etc”, “damn the ….”. Now, because damnation is quite a nasty thing (I mean who or what would like to burn forever?) qualifies as wishing evil upon someone or something. And that is cursing. Sorry to say, but considering the evidence, are much less witches cursing then other denominations. Why? Because witches are way too aware that what you send out, comes back three times.
Now that I established that witches don’t curse as a favorite way of spending their time, I will move onto the black arts…
According to the dictionary black arts are:
Noun 1. black art – the belief in magical spells that harness occult forces or evil spirits to produce unnatural effects in the worl
Do witches harness occult forces? You bet. Witches do work with the occult. But occult means hidden. Not easily seen. Now, if we think about it, the wind is something we can not see. We can feel it. We can see it’s effects, but we can’t see it. Therefore, the wind is occult. Psychology… The human mind is not only hidden and hard to grasp, but is basically unknown. Are so many differences, so many nuances that more often then not, psychologists work blindly… It’s instinct and experience backed up by some basic knowledge. We simply don’t know why some people get stronger from misfortunes and why other people are destroyed by it. So, because the human mind and it’s workings and motivations are hidden, means that the psychologists deal with the occult, which if we listen to the definition, makes them witches. Now, as it happens, I have a deep respect for psychologists. Actually, as a witch, I have a deep respect for All life, from rivers and oceans to insects and animals, to humans. Anyway, I was saying that witches do work with the occult, which means hidden.
Generally speaking, most of us, humans, use about 10% of our brains. The rest is unknown matter with unknown functions. Are people that are able to use more then 10%. Those are the really amazing geniuses that transform our world and push us on the evolutionary scale. Deep gratitude to Galileo, Newton, Einstein, Edison.  I totally appreciate having a car instead of a horse (even though I’m sure that ecologically speaking the horse is much better and the car might be more expensive, but hey, it’s faster), electricity instead of candles (I love candle light but  it does not power my washing machine), my computer and so on. However, not only geniuses use more then 10% of that mushy matter that is the brain.
Do you know that animal can see a much bigger light spectrum then we do? Oh well, most witches are the same. Able to see, hear, taste, touch and smell things that most people can’t. Now, I am not reducing witches to humans with animal senses. Which are a massive help, don’t get me wrong. But is not enough. Witches also need the intelligence to understand what the senses relate and lots and lots of practice in order to control these senses. Personally, while I find it useful to see auras (that the energy field around the body, and if need is, I can demonstrate how do we have one), I would like sometimes to relate to people without knowing exactly how are they feeling physically, mentally, spiritually. Part of that is because I like to keep some mystery in my interactions. Another part is because it would be some much information to process  that my brain would have a fry up like an overloaded computer. Also, is the same with sound. If I can’t control how much I hear (and i do have an extremely selective hearing), it would be extremely tiresome to hear all that happens on a twenty meter radius, in great detail. And so on.
The only way to harness this abilities is with lots and lots of practice, which requests patience, wisdom, determination and good management. Actually most witches I know manage to have a happy family, an outstanding career, a perfectly clean house, enough time for friends, enough time for themselves and manage to sleep a decent numbers of hours every night as well. And for witches, like anyone else, the day does not last more then 24 hours. Which is not that pleasant, but that’s the way it is… Do they use their nose to move things around the house to clean? That would be awesome and a skill that would be very much appreciated. Unfortunately, no matter how talented, the witches still need to vacuum using their arms, cook with their hands, put the washing in the machine with their own hands. The rest, is perfect plot for Hollywood.
What is it that these witches do? Fly on the brooms all day? Nah. We use brooms, but we don’t fly on them. My kids would love it, especially to use one to fly far away when I ask them to do something, but does not work like that. Most of the stuff we do is helping others. Not only humans. We, humans have a really overrated opinion about our importance on this planet. More so as we do more harm then good. So the witches help humans, animal and most importantly, the planet.  We use green energy, walk instead of driving if possible, watch how much water and electricity we use, often pick up other people rubbish and put it where it belongs (in those varied colored bins used for recycling) and so on. What else do we do? We listen. We are very, very good at listening. And because we listen very well, we know more and are able to tell others in what areas to improve their lives, about in the same way the psychologist does. We are also very responsible. Towards ourselves, others and our planet. Opps, I mentioned the planet again. Our planet, with it’s ecosystem is one of the main believes of the witch. We don’t pray to the planet, we pray FOR the planet (we do much more then pray. We tend to put our hands where our mouth is.) What else do we do? We have families, we laugh, we cry, we have jobs and friends, we go through happiness and grief… We are human. Maybe a bit more emphatic humans, but the ones that have more too gain out of that are the less emphatic ones. Sometimes, but not really as often as thought, we use the “thought over matter” principle.
What is this idea of thought over matter? Oh well, as the quantum physics are just starting to discover, all of us, humans, can change the course of atoms according to our will. It’s just possible. Now, as much s I am aware, none of us manage to create entire festive meals just by using our minds, unless we want to eat it in our minds as well. Witches are not magicians. We don’t pull white rabbits out of our non existent hats (we really really don’t wear pointy hats) and we don’t make things appear out of thin air. That’s the jobs of magicians. But if something IS in thin air, most of us can see it. What do we do? More often then not, we work really really hard at changing. OURSELVES. That effort for change often means better health, more aware spiritually, more usefulness as members of society.
Now… The second part of that very informed definition makes me crack up laughing. While I do understand that wisdom comes with years, and some of the older ones are amazingly wise, not all old persons are wise and not all youngsters unwise. Or whatever other word is wished for. Like all others, we are old, not so old, not so young and young. Some of us work years and years at perfecting ourselves and even then, no one is perfect. I know plenty of young witches. Some of them look as yummy as the fairy tale’s princess. Some of us have long, blond, wavy hair, blue eyes and long legs (that Mother Nature’s job or if really needed the plastic’s surgeon. We don’t change our appearance to look like a fantasy). Some of us have short, straight black hair, brown eyes, not so perfect skin and short legs. Most of us, however, are way past according so much importance to the way we look, we feel quite good in our own skins and usually we put more importance on the wisdom we harvest then cosmetics. I, love cosmetics and I’m vain. But not all are. We go on the idea of Mens sana in corpore sano. That means Healthy mind in a healthy body. So we don’t eat as much junk. Are old witches? You bet. In the same way that there are old parents. But not all of us are old. Most of us love the word hag and crone. Because it implies wisdom and that is something we appreciate.
So, how about we grow up and stop being scared of what we don’t know? Because it is not that hard to find out and to stop believing in horror movies. Honestly. Let’s get past the ignorance specific to our specie and get informed. And let’s change the dictionaries. Are highly inaccurate as I had the misfortune of finding out.
So… What is a witch? A wise person (male or female) that respects Nature And All LIFE (including their own) and use more then 10% of their brain… Is it really that scary?