Tuesday 6 March 2012

Autumn

The summer is gone. Only a shadow remains of the long, sunny, hot days of summer. The vibrant colors of nature are getting less bright, there are clouds floating through the sky... The darkness lengthens it's shadows earlier and there is a chill in the air that was not there couple of weeks before...

The end of summer always brings a feeling of nostalgia in me. Even though so many years have passed since I finished school in my far away mountains, the end of summer still seem to sing the song of the end of holidays... But unlike before, there is no excitement of meeting friends that I missed, there is no wonder to see a new year's surprises...

Nowadays, autumn just brings with it a slowing down of vitality. Where once upon a time it was a season of wine making, of pickles getting made between giggles, now is just a nostalgia which seems to suit my mood. This year I had no energy to truly enjoy summer. With my body rebelling against me, packing the car for a day at the beach seemed more then I was able to do.

This year, the summer passing away to leave space for colder days seems a metaphor of my own health. Gone are the days of singing while cleaning the house, gone are the days of dancing in the car with my children... I seem to have gotten old all of a sudden and even though I know that another summer awaits at the end of the rainbow, I just can't find it in me to be excited about that hope. Because like the weather, I just don't have the energy anymore...

Like nature, I feel the need to lie down and recharge for the future spring, to hide in a cave and sleep until my body, like nature, can come anew... But unlike the nature that quietly goes to sleep, responsibilities hold me tight in an everyday circle of duties.

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