Beltane Eve

Beltane is gone now... A year has passed since I danced last around a May Pole after jumping over the Fires of blessing and fertility. A year of blessings, of wishes, of hard work. A year of wishes come true. A year of refining my craft and learning to trust myself. A year of rebirth.

Out of the year, there are two holidays I love the most. Beltane and Samhain. Two halves, mirror images. Life and death, both part of the same journey, so different and yet so alike. For me, the year ends and starts with Samhain. As the God-Sun is dying, so is the year. For me, it is a time to reflect on my loved ones that passed into the Otherworld, to spend time with my memories of them that hopefully will bring their presence. As the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest, I can look over to mine. It is the night spent in the understanding that life is fallowed by death, fallowed by rebirth. The end is nothing but a beginning and every beginning is an end.

At the other end of the spectrum, after the Goddess births the God-Sun at Yule after the longest night, is Beltane. Seasons passed and the God is now a man, forever growing. The Goddess as Virgin, after going on it's own journey of growth as the Earth, after meeting the God, falls in love. Beltane is the night when the Earth as Virgin Goddess marries the Sun as nearly adult man. The marriage between them creates the Baby Corn, conceived in this first union between the gods.  It is a day of joy, of promises made to one self and others. As the spring says good bye to welcome the summer, passion and dreams are ripe in the moment of saying good bye to childhood and welcoming the maturity. The Earth becomes ripe, the Goddess, no longer Virgin becomes Mother, the God  grows stronger with the Sun.

Last year on Beltane, I wished for freedom and love. I got both. The freedom to be my own master and love to myself. As Beltane came again, happy with the result of my last year wishes, I asked for blessings for all my loved ones. I forgot to ask for success, but maybe it was intentional as I measure success in the number of good deeds, rather then financial gain. I remembered to bless the Goddess and be blessed in turn by Her.

This year Beltane has passed without the elaborate ritual I had so carefully planed.  It passed without the one person I wanted there. In some ways, that made it sad and just a touch lonely. It certainly raised questions of ifs and whys. But, somehow, as the energies grew to a swirl, I forgot about what was missing and focused on what I had. My very talented children that are growing into soon to be young women. The man that at least for that night was to be my companion and soul mate. My far away family, so close in my heart. I focused on the magic that grows in me as I discover the woman I am. On the blessings and surprises that danced through my life in this half of the year.

As I closed my ritual of blessing, I could feel the power in me more strong then ever, the Goddess closer then I could have imagined. Now Beltane passed like a dream, and yet the joy, the passion, the gratefulness and blessing of it warms my heart. And it will wait for me at the other end, as the Sun is dying and the Goddess becomes Crone, when the memories of spring will birth dreams in my heart. But for now, I will welcome the ripe promise of summer, enjoying my days as a Mother.