Wednesday 31 October 2012

Love Spells and Bubble, bubble, boil and trouble

I was not going to write about love spells. Partially because I have no interest in them, partially because in my opinion such spells are almost always pure trouble...

But too many people, when they hear I am a witch, after a minute of silence, end up giving me a detailed description of their love life, or lack of, and ask for a spell to fix the problem. On the other hand, it is Beltane, so what better night to write about love spells?

Love... When I think of love, I think about the one emotion that shapes our lives more then any other. We wish for it, we bathe in it, we long for it, we fight it, we run away from it, we cherish it... Sometimes we yearn for it so much that we see it where it is not, other times we are so scared of it, we can not see it even when it is there... Love... Love for one's family, love for a lover, for things and possessions, for moments, for friends... Sometimes love for nature, or a stranger... Love for a day or a lifetime... The love we give, the love we are given, or the one that is lacking... Used wisely, it has the power to lift us to the top of the highest mountains... When the wisdom is lacking, love is the one that can take us to the bottom of despair...

There are many people and many things I love... My family and my ancestors, my children, my friends... I love my coffee in the mornings when my brain is still half asleep... I love the wind blowing wildly in a storm and the breeze gently blowing in a hot day... I love the sunrise with the promise of a new day, the sunset with the culmination of another... I love the moon, gently lighting a dark night sky... So many things I love... More often then not, I prefer to count my blessings in the love I give, rather then in the love that is given...

And there are loves I avoid out of fear, because I have been hurt too deeply.

But most of the love spells I am asked about, are more precise, more to do with love from a man or a woman... I do not know if it is possible to use magic to make someone love you... and I don't even care to find out... What I do know, is that you, yourself should be magic enough if someone is wiling to give that love. Because Love is an emotion you offer, but you can never request. And I also know that forcing someone into love, it breaks one of the only laws I respect as a witch: An' it harm none,
Do what ye will.


And yet, love is not about you, but about the other, about you offering without the need to wait for a return. Forcing someone into love hurts not one, but both people.

However, there are some love spells I do agree with. The only one I would freely practice, with no buts attached to it, would be love for oneself. I noticed in life how people freely offer love to everyone and everything around, and I always thought it is beautiful. But more often then not, self love seems to come hard to people, and lacking this important ingredient in life, always gives birth to resentment. If you can not love yourself, how can you expect another to do it?

Another type of love spells I am not against, is wishing for love in general. I want to meet, love and be loved in return, by someone that can be my best friend, someone I can respect and be respected by, someone responsible, reliable and mature, someone that can have a good laugh... I wish for someone that could be a good father figure to my children and care for them... Someone I can talk to and shares some of my interests... Someone I can sit with in silence and be comfortable doing so... Someone who is kind and compassionate, generous and empathic... Someone I could have a pillow fight with, or cry on their shoulder... I wish for someone that I can be fully myself with and be accepted and loved for it... The list could be longer, or shorter, or more, or less specific... I find that for me, these would be the things I would really wish for... As long as that list does not have a specific person at its center, it is all good.  If it does have a specific person, it is trouble...

And lastly... When one wishes for love, the wish should come with the implicit understanding that effort needs to be put in, or all is for nothing...

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