Thursday, 29 December 2011


Since I am an adult, the end of the years always makes me nostalgic. It is like a call to look over the year that has past, count my blessings and failures, balance the things I learned. I can't seem able anymore to welcome the new year without saying good bye to the one that passes.

For the first time ever, this year I will welcome the new year without any of my loved ones. No family, no children, no friends that I consider family. Just me and strangers and acquaintances... It should make me sad, but I just laugh at it. If things were different, I would have at least had a boyfriend by my side, and then I would have had to worry about his wishes. But I welcome the thought that things are not different. Because one of the lessons I learned was to be mostly independent. And to trully belong to myself.

Last year I wished for solitude, time to make myself whole again. I did get it. I received enough solitude to read all the books I wanted to read, to take walk alone, time to dedicate to my craft. Other then my children, I had no one to worry about or to please.

2011 was an interesting year.

I fell in love when I wanted least and I had my heart ripped out of me. I managed to cry only a little (couple of hours) after which I decided that keeping the memory of the good times was more important. And I have learned that I am strong, in soul and mind.

It was a year in which I painfully missed my far away family. There were days I would have given anything, just to be with all of them, even if only for a day.

It was an year when I watched my little one finding a dream and flying with it. As a parent, it was an education, a surprise and a blessing.

I found out that I am sick and will always be so. Medication will keep it under control, but it did not change the fact that I am sick. And after feeling pity for myself, I stood up and counted my blessings.

It was an year in which I achieved a semblance of peace with people I did not think I could.

A year in which I learned to say Yes or No, according to my heart's needs. Looking back, I just had to step away from guilt. And what a liberating lesson it was!

A year in which I have truly learned how to love myself through ups and most importantly through downs.

I did not achieve all the things I wanted to achieve, and there were quite a few and harsh set backs. But all in one, it was an important and blessed year for me.


  1. It is good that it was an important and blessed year for you. It looks like you have grown much. I hope 2012 will be an even better year for all of us. Blessed be!

  2. Thank you, blessed soul. I hope 2012 will be blessed with wisdom and compassion, with growth and love for all! Happy New Year! )O( BB