Thursday, 1 December 2011

Moon- Mother and Child

I feel the Moon caressing my eyes. Soft, so soft touch that i can feel it all the way into my soul. Silvery queen, forever the same, forever changing. And i remember the Moon, so shining and so gentle, rising between mountains full of mysteries and strength.

I open my hand and softly hold onto a ray of light that guided me through days and listen through my nights. I have no more secrets, I have no more dreams to offer the Queen, so i just let it touch me like a silver mesh. It reaches deep whiting my soul, cleansing and comforting like a Mother. I feel how it tugs to a string of my heart, and hear the voice that gently, but firmly pushes. But i lack the courage to listen to the Moon, as much today as ever.

A soft smile lifts my lips and i give myself to the Moon as i never gave myself to another. Memories of lost days of suffering and self inflicted pain, pass though my eyes. I try to stop them, to shake them, to hide away or silence them, but the Moon light shines within my soul and keeps me prisoner to my own memories. The tiny toddler begging a grandmother not to die, an older child frozen in fear of an adult, a teenager with the confidence of a dead butterfly. I see them all as they were, but for once, under the gently tugging of the Moon, i see them as they belong to another. A toddler, a child, a teenager. Me and yet not me. I feel love for the toddler that cried, i feel love for the child that never dared, i feel love for the teenager that did not believe. With the aid of the Moon, i reach out to them in a loving embrace and tell them that they are loved and it was not their fault. And my soul fills with love as my eyes fill with the Moon light. I see the young woman that used to be. I shut my eyes, trying not to see the mistakes, the blame, the pain, but the Moon is stronger then me and shines between my eye lids. I look up asking for mercy, asking to stop. It is so beautiful, so gentle that i can not refuse to let it into my soul. The woman. The woman is me and yet just another young lost woman. I reach to her and hug her tight asking to stop blaming herself, but that does not help and eases no torment, so i hug tighter and i kiss and surrounded by love and forgiveness, by acceptance and understanding, the woman smiles, melts into the toddler, into the child, into the teenager, into me.

Under the Moon i start dancing, twirling around and much later, i lie on the grass, eyes to the Moon, soul open until there is no me, and no Moon but only one in many.

As the Moon hides between the trees to leave space for the energy of Sun, i open my eyes and call: "Mother! You are the Mother and the daughter, the wise and the innocent!" The last of the Moon smiles like a Mother and whispers: "So are you, my child! So are you." Tears sting in my eyes, in happiness for belonging, for accepting, for loving, for forgiving.

Day after day and night after night i watch the Moon and include it as part of my soul, allowing it with gratitude, to teach me the power of love, the power of the Mother.

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